Motivation for University
, Seville
I never wanted to quit university as much as I want to now.
There's been only problems. Yesterday I found out about a rule from my home university (probably heard it before but it’s stupid so I didn’t think about it).
I wanted to do one obligatory subject here in Spain and before I left I thought I could just try passing the exam with like two days of studying and if I fail then it’s not a problem because I wanted to do it here anyway. I didn’t pass.
Now the rule states that you cannot repeat exams at a different university if you didn’t pass it there. So now I’m doing the course here for nothing and it’s so demotivating. I don’t know if that rule exists at every university but I can imagine it’s because my university has to be special and very excellent or something.
In general, learning at university is not my style of learning and I’m not sure if anybody really likes it. I love learning and I can be curious af. But (for me?) it has to be in a no-pressure environment like just on my own.
In school the best teachers for me were the ones where I felt like I don’t necessarily need to do much. I learned more in their subjects than in any other. The reason could also have been a general lack of interest from my side in other subjects but there is also the overjustification effect. According to that, intrinsic motivation can decrease if there is external motivation like grades or passing an exam.
So here I want to remind myself why I started and why I still want to go to university. I’ll probably need to read this every day from now on to stop myself from quitting ;)
- Making friends and contacts
- If someone work-related asks what I studied I can respond with like four words and then everyone forgets about it
- Being able to get a Master’s degree if I feel like it at some point